How to Win Friends and Influence People describes a self-help book that Dale Carnegie published in 1936.
The book has recorded more than 30 million copies sales all over the world.
For that reason, it is one of the best-selling books that the world has ever recorded.
The book secured position 19 during the Time Magazine 2011 list of the most marketable and influential books.
Dale has been pursuing a business education course since 1912 in New York.
Leon Shimkin from Simon & Schuster publishing firm conducted a 14 weeks course on public speaking and human relations referring majorly to Dale’s book.
After this, Shimkin advised and persuaded Carnegie to allow Stenographer to take notes of the course to revise it for publication.
The first five thousand copies of this inspirational How to Win Friends and Influence People book recorded exceptional sales, which went through around 17 editions in the first year alone.
The publishers, later on, released the revised version of the book that contained the updated anecdotes and language in 1981.
The revised version of the book reduced the count of the book’s section to four from six.
As a result, it eliminated sections that focused on improving marital satisfaction and effective business letters. The book contains the following categories:
What Will You Get From Reading How to Win Friends and Influence People?
This section was a primary part of the initial version of the book that the publishers published in 1936 as a single page list.
The section preceded the first content list of the book, and it showed the prospective readers what they should expect from reading the book.
However, in 1981 the publishers edited and omitted points 11, 8, and 6.
The section highlights:
- New ambitions, New Visions, New Thoughts and get out of your mental rut
- Allow yourself to make friends easily and quickly.
- Widen and increase your fame
- Make sure to win people and trigger them to think your way.
- Widen and increase your ability to complete tasks, your prestige and your influence
- Allow yourself to win newer customers and newer clients.
- Promote your earning power
- Make yourself a better executive and a better salesman.
- Enable yourself to keep your human contacts pleasant and smooth, avoid arguments, and handle complaints
- Make yourself a more entertaining conversationalist and a better speaker.
- Allow yourself to integrate your psychological principles easily in your daily contacts.
- Enable yourself to create a sense of enthusiasm among your clients, customers and associates.
The book also features six significant sections. The core principles that you can learn from each section is as we quote and explain below.
The Fundamental Strategies and techniques to Handle People
Do not Complain, Condemn, or Criticize: Generally speaking, human nature hates to admit mistakes and fault.
When you humiliate and criticize other people, they will rarely respond positively and may most times resent their critic and become defensive.
For that reason, you should never complain, condemn, or criticize because they will develop a negative impression on you.
Give Sincere and Honest Appreciation: Appreciation is a primary key to making friends worldwide.
Honest appreciation brings out the best quality, and people would rarely work to the maximum in a case of potential criticism.
Nevertheless, you should ensure that you never play simple flattery. Appreciation should be with love and must be meaningful.
Create an Eager Want in other People: For us to get what we would like to get from the people around us, you should forget your perspective and start to view everything the way we view the world.
If you manage to join desires and wants with what there are hoping for, the people will want to work with you. In this position, you can mutually achieve your objectives.
Making Other People like Your Way of Life
Develop genuine interests in the people around you: Research indicates that you can make more friends within a short period if you develop interests in the people around you.
This method works faster than that of trying to impress them. The most efficient way you can reach and create lasting friendships is by giving you the time to learn their interests and objectives.
Smile: Happiness has nothing to do with the circumstance that surrounds you. Happiness has to develop from the attitudes you create from the inside.
A simple smile can make other people feel beautiful. Fortunately, it costs nothing for one to smile. Make sure to wear a smile on your face all the time.
Note that the name of the person around you belongs to that person and is their most essential and the sweetest sound in any
language: Research indicates that most people have a greater interest in their name more than most other titles.
Everyone loves to hear people around them mention their names all the time and can even donate money so that they get their names on buildings.
We can make those around us feel important and valued by just mentioning their name over and over.
Be a Good Listener: You should make sure that you encourage the people around to speak more to you about themselves.
The most effective way to making someone free around you is by becoming a good listener.
In any case, you should always take seriously whatever people around you would like to say.
Most times, people are not looking for someone to talk to them. They just want someone who can listen to what they have deep in their hearts.
Talk to Interest People around you all the time: The most effective way you can mark a point on the heart of someone who is around you is by speaking about what they value the most.
If we talk to people about what they treasure the most, they will take it positively and treat us favorably in return.
Make the Other Person feel Valued: In any case, make sure that the value you subject to the people around if sincere.
The most vital factor of friendship is treating the people around you the way they would like you to address them.
Everyone loves to feel important, so make them feel important.
People will feel free to converse with us longer if we give them a chance to talk about what they want.
All in all, you could win many friends if you make people feel important in a friendly and sincere way.
Winning People to Your Mode of Thinking
Make sure you avoid arguments at all costs: It does not matter with how well or poorly you prove your thoughts.
You are bound to lose as long as you break into an argument with the people around you.
The person will either feel strengthened or humiliated and will, of course, seek to bolster their position of the debate. Thus, try to avoid arguments at all costs.
Show interest in other people’s opinions: Ensure that you never use the term “you are wrong.” Even if you are sure that they have made mistakes, do not humiliate them about it.
Telling them that they are wrong will insult and offend their pride. Note that no one would accept any kind of humiliation.
Admit emphatically and quickly any time you make a mistake: You should admit to your errors immediately.
If you fight about it and try to defend your thoughts at all costs, you are most likely to develop the idea of distrust among the people around you.
If we admit that we made a mistake at some point, our friends will sympathize with us and shall trust us.
Conduct yourself in a friendly way: a gallon of gal would catch fewer flies than a drop of honey.
If we keep our interactions with people around us in a friendly manner, they will also treat us in a friendly way, and that is friendship.
Ensure that you are always helpful even when you are upset, to bend other people’s minds to our way of thinking.
Start a conversation with questions that the other people would answer yes: You should make sure that you avoid conversations that are most likely to develop arguments between different people and us.
Make sure that your conversation is full of ideas that you have similar thoughts about them.
Make sure the communication between you and the people around you is always affirmative.
Instead of telling someone that they are wrong, try and lead them to realizing what is right.
Let them play the more substantial part of your talk: People do not like to hear other people boast. Everyone wants the conversation to dominate what they like.
Give the people around you a chance to rationalize and talk about whatever they think is right.
This strategy will make them feel more energetic and lovelier.
Give them the chance to own their ideas or thoughts: Everyone loves their opinion and would like everyone around them to recognize them as the source of the concept.
You can carry around plans to make friends by allowing people around you to think that they are the source of the ideas.
Try to view everything from other people’s point of view: Some people make wrong decisions occasionally, but this is not reason enough to condemn them.
Make sure to seek and understand the people around you.
Success to dealing with people rightly lies in how you grasp their ideas and point of view.
Ensure that you sympathize with other peoples’ desires and ideas: Everyone is hanging for sympathy and would like to put their thoughts into practice.
They would like us to recognize how they feel and what they desire.
If you sympathize well with the people around you, they will appreciate our point of view and will accept our way of thinking.
Appeal to the Nobler Motives: The truth is that everyone would like to look glorious. Besides, everyone believes that whatever they do is of morally upright and noble reasons.
We can convince other people to consider our ideas if we appreciate their noble motives.
Dramatize your Thoughts and ideas: In modern society, it is not enough to state the truth.
You need to make the fact sound dramatic, exciting and most importantly, vivid.
TVs do this ever since their invention. At times stating the idea is not enough so we should dramatize to explain everything.
Throw Down a Challenge: The game is what motivates the people.
Everyone has a strong desire to prove their worth and excel in their lives.
Give everyone a chance to rise and meet your standards while at the same time, accept their rules too.
Changing People without Offending or Arousing resentment
Ensure that you give honest appreciation and praise: Most people around you would do things begrudgingly for an iron-fisted leader and criticism, but they can provide the best experience if you appreciate and praise them.
Show them their mistakes indirectly: No one would agree to commit mistakes, especially when it is in front of other people.
Blaming and scolding other people will humiliate them and make them feel unworthy.
However, if we indirectly and subtly show them their mistakes, they are more likely to appreciate our assistance and can improve on that matter.
Mention your mistakes before you point out the mistakes other people make: if you take responsibility for the errors that might develop between you and your friends, you will win them to your side.
Everyone does not want to take the blame for any mistakes.
Therefore, taking responsibility for the slight errors will make thing easier between you and the people around you.
Instead of giving direct orders, just ask questions: Everyone hate to take orders. You can bend your actions to be much like suggestions instead of orders.
This strategy helps to boost confidence and allows your friends to transform faster.
Give people a chance to save face: Generally speaking, nothing will diminish the dignity a man has quite like when you insult their pride. People will feel more comfortable to stay around you if you never condemn. Always keep you misunderstanding between the two of you.
Appreciate and Praise every improvement: Everyone would love to receive admiration and praise. If you truly want someone to improve the mindset about anything, make sure to appreciate every step. Abilities blossom under the encouragement and wither under criticism.
Give other people the best reputation they want: If we give other people a better standing to live up to, they will love to spend time around us and would like to replicate the features we grant them. People will show hard work, confidence and vigour if we show them that we trust in their skills.
Always encourage: You will reach more friends if you make the people around you feel that the mistakes they make around you are more comfortable to make right. People are more likely to lose heart and give up in any case where the outcome seems to be a momentous task. If we frame our goals as easy and small improvements, we will develop dramatic success and desire in our efforts.
Make other people feel happy about your suggestions: Most people would respond positively to the ideas they desire, and the brush shall be productive. We should learn how to frame our opinions and desires to please other people if we want to become effective leaders and influence people.
Letters That Could Produce Miraculous Outcomes
This section was available in the 1936 version of the book, but the publishers omitted it during the revision in 1981.
This section was the shortest chapter of the How to Win Friends and Influence People book.
Under this section, Dale analyzed two letters that describe how to create a good impression on other people using the term “do me a favor” instead of directly demanding what you want since it does not convey the same significance of your request.
Rules to Making Your Life At Home Happier
This section was available in the 1936 version of the book, but the publishers omitted it during the revision in 1981.
- Read books on the sexual views of marriage.
- Be courteous
- Pay little attentions
- Give honest appreciation
- Do not criticize
- Do not try to make your partner over.
- Do not nag
The Impact of How to Win Friends and Influence People Book
The book became one of the most successful books in the history of America.
It has seen around 17 print editions in its previous year and published and sold more than 250,000 copies during the period of the first three months.
The book records more than 30 million sales all over the world and makes around 250,000 sales every year.
The Library of Congress recently ranked the book in a recent survey on the most influential books in the history of America.